2. When a man is wounded and dying, he always manage to catch his breath
and speak a few sentences to reveal the killer before dropping his head
and declared dead.

3. Skilled people are able to fly over roof tops, up trees and across
distances without any sweat. But when travelling to towns and villages,
they still have to walk or ride horses.

4. The heroes need not have to work for money, but will always have
gold and silvers with them to pay for their dishes.

5. The heroes and villains will meet each other very often no matter
how big the country is and no matter where they are.

6. Healing internal wounds in the body is as easy as sitting down
cross-legged, palms on the knees and smoke coming out from the head.

7. They can keep a lot of stuff in their sleeves and waistband and never
drop them (carrying especially lots of those gold and silver ingots)

Things You Would Never Know Without Indian Movies
==================================================
1. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating
but will wince when a woman tries to cleanse his wounds.

2. The hero cannot fall in love with the heroine (vice versa) unless
they first perform a dance number in the rain.

3. Once applied, make-up is permanent, in rain or in any other situation.

4. Two lovers can be dancing in the field and out of nowhere, 100
people will appear from god-knows-where and join them in the dance.

5. In the final scene, the hero will discover that the bad guy who he is
up against is actually his brother and the maid who looked after him is
his mother and the chief inspector is his father and the Judge is his
uncle and so forth.

6. Key English words used in the movie (usually said out loud between
sentences) are No Problem!, My God!, Get Out!, Shut-up!,Impossible!,
Please forgive me!

7. They drop down on the ground and roll and roll while singing and
came out with different clothing.

8. They can run around the coconut trees, singing, battling eyes-lid,
and throwing glances at each other and change clothes all at the
same time without being out of breath.

last night was the most fun i’ve had at a club in a LONG LONG time. it’s this type of clubbing that got me going in the first place.

this is funny

You’re at a bar and your friend buys a round of tequila shots. You…
(1) Down your shot, then your friend’s shot, then order another round.

(2) Down your shot, thank your friend, and retire home for the evening.

(3) Turn down the shot - you have work tomorrow.

(4) This entire scenario is unrealistic - bars? What is this, college?

Your friends are camping out for concert tickets. You…
(1) Get a keg and a tent — you’re in.

(2) Give them money and ask them to buy you a ticket

(3) Pass — can you believe the crap those kids are listening to these days.

(4) The music’s too loud, parking is a pain, and everyone’s on drugs. No, thanks.

Your friends are at the beach throwing the football around. You…
(1) Organize a tackle football game - straight out of the Abercrombie catalog. But straight.

(2) Just throw the ball around nice and soft — while enjoying the sun’s rays.

(3) Don’t throw the ball at all — that’s a good way to get your trick shoulder worked up again.

(4) Don’t go to the beach because sand gets in places you don’t want sand to be, and the sun is a big blaring ball of potential Melanoma beating down on you.

You’re house sitting in your friend’s ridiculous mansion. You…
(1) Throw a house party that will make Kid N’ Play’s hair fall out.

(2) Invite a small group of friends over for a dinner party.

(3) You have a date with his comfortable couch, a glass of Chianti, and the latest Clive Clussler.

(4) You leave early because you’re old and depressed and it’s strikingly clear you’ll never be able to afford a house of similar size.

You get a girls’ number. You…
(1) Call her that night for a booty call.

(2) Wait the allotted 3 days and ask her out for coffee.

(3) Wait the allotted 3 days to call and plan a dinner.

(4) Don’t call because phones are too confusing.

The stock market is crashing. You…
(1) Don’t care because you aren’t invested in the stock market.

(2) Care a little because some of your buddies are on Wall Street.

(3) Start looking for a ledge to jump off of.

(4) Find it exciting to actually have something to talk to people about.

It’s the first beautiful day outside in a while. You…
(1) Fill a thermos with gin and step outside.

(2) Barbecue with some friends. Maybe even cook a steak

(3) White-wash your fence.

(4) Bird-watch with the new binoculars you bought off of QVC.

You just found out that you won the lottery. You…
(1) Spend half the money on booze and the other half on strippers.

(2) Buy a really cool car that you’ve always wanted.

(3) Diversify thru mutual funds and CD’s.

(4) Do not want to cash in the ticket for fear that “once Uncle Sam gets his hand in your pocket, he won’t let go.”

You’re at a sporting event and a jerk is causing a ruckus. Do you:
(1) Hit him with a beer bottle and when he looks over, point to the guy next to you.

(2) Berate him about why he’s being a jerk and if he wants to fight you say, “Yeah, like I’m gonna fight you over a sporting event.”

(3) Alert an usher about said jerk.

(4) N/A. Don’t attend sporting events because of chance of inclimate weather and escalating price of concessions and seriously, have you seen what they’re charging for a cup of birch beer nowadays? It’s criminal.

You’re flipping thru the channels and you see that a “Golden Girls” marathon just started. You…
(1) Watch it - that show is awesome and appeals to all ages

(2) Watch it - that show is awesome and appeals to all ages

(3) Watch it - that show is awesome and appeals to all ages

(4) Watch it (at an increased volume) - that show is awesome and appeals to all ages

Assign yourself the corresponding points for each answer and tally them.
For instance, if you answered choice (1) to a question, give yourself one point, and so on and so forth.
10-15 - You’re young at heart, or you’re an immature jerk. Either way, do as you please.

16-25 - You’re still hanging on to that last vestige of youth. Many people your age shake their head at your antics.

26-32 - You’re starting to get that old person smell. Give it up

33-40 - You may be dead already.

i was kinda down last night, but after a nice cold beer and a __________, i woke up, checked my fb to see te well wishes and switched my phone back on to get so many wishes, brightened up my day.

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